How to Confront a Cheater
Confronting a cheater can be one of the most emotionally charged events of a person’s life. A rush of adrenaline, sadness, despair, and anger have the ability to take the hurt spouse on an emotional roller coaster ride that makes the confrontation devastating.
Stay calm in the confrontation – The natural response to cheating is hysteria, anger, and frustration. In an angry or hysterical state of mind it is impossible to think with clarity. Staying calm during the confrontation will keep you clear on what needs to be said or asked. Being physically and emotionally calm will make the confrontation less devastating. Staying calm is one of the most difficult things to do but if a spouse is able to remain calm they will feel better once the confrontation is over.
Avoid physical violence – Many people experience intense anger and have a strong desire to harm the person that cheated on them. In extreme cases, a person may kill their spouse once they discover that infidelity has occurred. Thousands of people die at the hands of a infuriated spouse every year. Avoiding physical violence is necessary and important to keeping everything in perspective.
Be honest with your emotions – Being authentic with yourself and your spouse will encourage the cheater to do the same. Finding out that a companion has cheated may feel like an emotional roller coaster and it can be difficult to pinpoint how you feel about the situation.
Don’t say anything that you’ll later regret – Once the words are released it is impossible to take them back. When confronting the cheater avoid saying anything that you might later regret. It can be tempting to say hurtful things that will cause the cheater pain, but it isn’t the wise thing to do. Keeping a calm composure and disposition will help you choose the right words to say.
Don’t allow further deception to occur during the confrontation. When a cheater is confronted, the natural response of the cheater will be to deny everything. If you know for a fact that the cheater is being unfaithful, don’t allow further lies or excuses to deceive you. Stay firm and use the confrontation to come to an understanding of what went wrong and work towards a common temporary solution.
Allow the cheater a chance to speak – Unfortunately, most cheaters will continue to lie during a confrontation but a select few will confess the infidelity and attempt to further explain the situation. Whether the cheater is being honest or not – it is better for both parties to communicate openly with each other. Each person should have a chance to convey how they feel about the situation.
Confronting a cheater can be a difficult and emotional task. When a cheater is confronted it is rarely a pleasant experience. Most people find themselves emotionally exhausted by the confrontation but taking the necessary steps can reduce the emotional fatigue that is experienced.
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