An affair normally damages a relationship and makes it very difficult for the person who was cheated on to trust again. Once the spouse is found cheating, there is always hope that the trust can be restored again if both spouses decide that the relationship is really worth saving. There are certain things a spouse can do to handle a cheater in a way that will help both of them in the long-run.
Remain Calm – When dealing with an affair it is easy to slip into a frantic and hysterical mindset, but it is wise to face a situation of infidelity with clear thinking. Calming your mind and body prior to confrontation will help to reduce the chances you will say or do something that you’ll later regret. If the cheater is apologetic and wants to work things out, you can do so in a calm manner. If the cheater is hostile and angry, staying calm will keep you from mentally or physically harming them.
Decide if you are going to stay or go – One of the main factors in your decision is the person’s willingness to stop the cheating and be faithful in the relationship. Some people are chronic-cheaters. A chronic-cheater is an individual who repeatedly cheats without true remorse and no plans to ever stop the infidelity. If you are involved with a chronic cheater remember that your health and happiness are both at risk and take this information into account when deciding if the relationship is worth the work. Deciding if you will stay or go is the first question that must be answered if an affair is to be handled effectively.
Not seeking revenge – One of the worst things that can happen is if the spouse attempts to seek revenge on the cheater. The most common forms of revenge are damaging property and cheating in return. While revenge always feels good initially, in the end it only results in more bad memories and experiences. The temporary enjoyment of revenge is not worth the life-long repercussions.
Discover if you are really willing to give a second chance – If a person decides to give their spouse a second chance, then it is important that they move forward without carrying the infidelity into the future. Letting go of the hurt can be incredibly hard and many people are not willing to easily forgive such betrayal.
Set Guidelines – In a relationship plagued with an affair, ultimatums are a must. An affair is an indecisive decision made by someone who doesn’t really know what they want to do with either relationship. The indecision must come to an end in order to end the affair and prevent future infidelity. The best way to help someone become more decisive about something is to set guidelines that forces them to decide what it is that they desire, and what is important.
Handling a situation with a cheater can be difficult, but it can be easier if you take the necessary steps to ensure that the affair is a stepping stone, lesson learned, and opportunity to make lemonade out of sour lemons.
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